the weather has been nothing short of brilliant in the past few days, and although i've been sequestered in conference rooms during that time, i've made the best of my breaks at what is steadily becoming one of my favorite piers:
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| oh, they won't be gulled. |
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| this family ran up the pier past me, laughing and smiling... |
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| the littlest received some expert instruction... |
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| and the kids made use of those bread-filled plastic bags with oomph! |
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| there is a wonderful overlook nearby--tucked between the buildings and perfect for a reflective lunch. |
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| everything looks so still and warm. |
things have been incredibly painful; struggle seems even more so without a support base, your friends or family, to come round for a cup of tea and a belly laugh in a familiar environment of comfort and relief. but without support for the first time, the pain is more vibrant and tangible. pain in its most vulnerable, anxiety-consumed moments elicits fear. fear necessitates a choice: personify unhelpful emotions and embed their attributes and qualities in your identity or recognize that emotions do not define us; they are just part of the transformative tools we need to effect and be affected by to make positive changes that optimize existence. you need to experience pain in order to heal.
i'm unearthing my historical artifacts from under the ruins of crumbled social constructs. i want to catalog exploration and curiosity as core themes of what i appreciate now to be a qualitatively rich journey ahead.
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i really enjoy singing, but i'm horrible at it. i'm breathy and very often off key, which has made me self-conscious and sheepish about doing it in front of other people. the liability of embarrassment is an internal censor and that's a shame, because now i've forgotten the lyrics to so many songs i used to know. but in moments when i'm alone at night, i sing sweet songs with wistful decrescendos a capella para dos.
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